Monday Tip Jar: Mastering transitions

Welcome to Monday Tip Jar. I'm just going to direct you on over here to understand what this "Monday Tip Jar" and "Mr. Linky" thing is all about. Come on back to this post when you're done. Now. To business.

Over Christmas, the Zig said something fascinating.

"Transitions are hard for us," she said. "It's always a challenge."

I was, of course, curious about what she meant. Oh, she said, anything from a big transition -- moving, coming home from vacation, sickness -- to small, daily transitions like bedtimes or when the nieblings' dad comes home from work.

This was actually a small factor in their decision to homeschool. Every time Allen -- the first, the oldest, and the biggest ham -- would come home from school in the last few years, it created a major household readjustment as he tried to exert his primacy over the younger two, and figure out how to fit back into a household that had gone on about his day while he was not present.

There are a few things that smooth the segue. Consistency, of course, is key.

Patrick is so strongly conditioned to fall asleep to his bedtime song, "Amazing Grace," that if you start humming it to him while rocking him (or while he's in the car), he will frequently drowse off. (Occasionally, however, this backfires when in the car or elsewhere. He hears "Amazing grace, how sweet ..." and pops up saying, "NO! I'm not SEEPY." Not usually at bedtime, though.)
His parents started that routine when he was an infant and it still has a consistently soothing effect on him, in part because it is part of a predictable pattern.

But what else works? Leave your tips in the comments section, or employ the handy Mr. Linky thing to leave them on your blog or Web site (or to post Monday Tip Jar questions of your own).

World's Meanest Aunt

Whew! Sorry about the weeklong break, guys; Christmas prep has strolled in and eaten me alive.

Speaking of which, today I did something that should earn me the coal-studded crown and broken-glass scepter reserved for whoever holds the title of World's Meanest Aunt.

With just 10 days to Christmas, I have shipped an enormous, wardrobe-sized cardboard box to the nieblings' house. I briefly toyed with the idea of plastering it with warnings about not opening until Christmas, not peeking, BIG SURPRISE INSIDE, DO NOT FEED, etc., but that seemed altogether too mean because ...

Well, because the giant box holds nothing but the cushions for the pink velvet loveseat that I am hauling out to The Zig's house so she can redecorate her living room. She has the matching loveseat (a set that formerly belonged to my parents, beloved by both of their daughters) and I am making room in my house.

Still, I can imagine precisely how excited I would have been if the UPS guy pulled up chez moi when I was 9, dragging a gigantic box behind him.

The good news is that the nieblings -- like all children and cats -- LOVE sturdy, gigantic boxes. They're perfect for imagination play, and can be turned into school buses, circus ticket booths, log cabins and anything else within the boundaries of imagination.

So I hope that someday they will forgive me for this epic disappointment.

Works for Me Wednesday: Five tips for dealing with sick kids

In honor of the fact that I have spent today laid out like a woozy, icky sick thing from the planet of Illin', I thought this was a lovely opportunity for a Works for Me Wednesday about sick kids.

Alas, because I am a woozy, icky sick thing, etc., I've been napping all day and my creativity engine is a little sluggish. So I called Mrs. Manners to get help ginning up some key tips.

1. If your child is going to spend most of the day in bed or on the couch -- but is well enough to sit up and do activities -- spread a sheet or tablecloth over the top layer of linens. It makes it easy to whisk a mess away without having to change the whole bed.

2. Give your little sicko a bell (a bicycle bell, a triangle, a honking horn, a regular bell) that he or she can use as a summons.

3. Directly from Mrs. Manners, a tip to help with hydration: "Always, always use a straw with a covered cup. You don't want to have to keep changing the sheets because something gets spilled all over. And if you have a fancy straw, that makes it more fun."

4. And this one, from me: If Sicky McSickersonstein can't keep liquids down, try popsicles. You can make your own (healthy!) out of juice or Pedialyte, or you can opt for a store brand, but they serve the dual purpose of soothing sore little throats and introducing liquid in very small amounts.

5. Also, Mrs. Manners says: "Books on tape are wonderful. Certainly books or coloring books." She also strongly recommends pipe cleaners and other relatively low-energy, low-mess crafts. I have a very clear memory of stringing long ropes of Cheerios on a piece of red yarn during one particularly streptastic December day when I was 8.

Linkage: It's like cribbing, only allowed

I've been stockpiling a handful of posts that struck me as particularly useful or interesting in the last few weeks. This is the tip of the iceberg, so look for more linkage in the next week or so:

From SimpleMom: Sound advice for those traveling with kids. Some of the points -- like outlining expectations, keeping kids well-fed, and starting early -- are good, basic information that any caregiver should bear in mind at all times. All tips are from Debbie Dubrow at Delicious Baby, which is all about parenthacks for traveling with kids (plus lots of giveaways).

From Baby-Log: Childproofing and locks that work (review and tips). I found Emma's blog when she guest-posted about saving money on childproofing over at Almost Frugal. I promptly forwarded that post to every toddler's mother I know. This post? Even better.

Speaking of Almost Frugal: An easy wreath and a tutu tutorial. I've been following the posts (and comments) in the Holidays by Hand carnival with no small interest. Since I'm having a mostly-by-hand holiday, it's a rich source of ideas. Each blogger is tackling a different category of hand craft; I thought the ideas submitted for Kelly's "ribbons and thread" category were especially good.

On the news side, I fell in love with the idea of The Baby College. It's the first step in the Harlem Children's Zone Project: "The goal is to create a "tipping point" in the neighborhood so that children are surrounded by an enriching environment of college-oriented peers and supportive adults, a counterweight to "the street" and a toxic popular culture that glorifies misogyny and anti-social behavior.

Finally, Rocks in My Dryer: Guidelines for teacher gifts. As the sister, daughter and friend of teachers, let me just suggest you put down the apple ornament, the coffee mug, the bag of Hershey's kisses ... just drop 'em, and go read this post.

Product Recalls; November edition

Note: A constantly updated list of recalled products is available at the Consumer Product Safety Commission Web site. Bookmark it, babes. Also, even though it's not subject to recalls, I completely flipped out when I heard that the FDA has found melamine in the major brands of infant formula. The Consumers Union's press release is here (nothing on the FDA Web site yet, shame on them); the FDA's FAQ (parts of which now sound like, uh, a pack of lies?) is here.

Arizona Newborn and Infant Pants (Choking hazard. People, this is the danger of phrases like "... or I'll eat my hat!" You never know how children will take these things.)

ImagiPLAY bead maze toys (Laceration hazard. Which is a pity; except for the part where they can slice your child to ribbons, these are very cute baby toys.)

Green Mountain Window Blinds (Strangling hazard from the cord. Nothing funny about this one, I'm afraid; a 2-year-old nearly died — but was saved by her 5-year-old brother.)

Ikea IRIS and ALVINE roman shades (Strangling death of a 1-year-old girl)

Target Dive Sticks (Impalement hazard. A huge seller in Wallachia. Sure, that's a tasteless joke.)

Also Swim 'n' Score Dive Sticks (Impalement hazard. See above for comedy. Also, these things are about to become the next Yard Darts. "After a few years' review, it occurs to us that throwing something in the pool and then encouraging children to throw themselves onto it is, um, unsafe?")

Young Colors children's hooded jacket (Strangling hazard. Seriously. When is someone going to come up with a way to secure a child's hood that doesn't involve the same technology used in garrottings?)

My Little Train Classics toy train (Choking hazard. The CPSC says, "Consumers should takek the toy train away from children immediately and return it to the place of purchase for a full refund," which makes me want to mug a small child.")

Claire's Boutique's Best Friends Yin Yang necklace sets (Lead hazard. Nothing says "besties" like side-by-side hospital beds, it's true.)

OKK Trading's Mini-Televisor television toys (Lead paint. Also? Recalled by ME for teaching kids to go to the television for entertainment and then NOT HAVING ANYTHING ON THE TELEVISION. It's cruel.)

King Import Warehouse's toy xylophones (Lead paint. Guess where it's made? And, for bonus points, guess where it's sold?)

That's it. Now we just wait for the post-holiday recall rush. If you want to dodge that madness, you might check out the CPSC's toy safety tips.

Gifts for kids: Book Shopping

First off, you should know that I read (for pleasure) an absurd number of books that are marketed to people who are still drinking milk and hoping to grow taller.

I am also FIRMLY of the opinion that every time a child has a celebration that merits gifts, at least one of those gifts ought to be a book. So the nieblings (and other wee sma' folk) have come to expect a book and something else.

A few tips so you don't waste your cash:

• Assess the family and the kid. Do they have a LOT of books? Go to the library twice a week? Then you'll need to find something brand new or fairly obscure. This is where the annual reviews (see below) are a huge help. Also? Ask the parents. Maybe there's a book that the kid in question checks out of the library all the time. Maybe she wants a copy of her own.
  
  
• Your childhood classics aren't necessarily his childhood classics. It would, of course, break my heart if Maggie didn't love The Ordinary Princess as much as I did, but there are literally millions of amazing children's books in the world. Maybe you can help the kids find a book that you didn't know about. (For me, that was Andrew Henry's Meadow. Wonderful book.)
  
  
• Read the book. This seems so basic, I blush to write it. But read it with a parental eye. Are the illustrations terrifying (this is a big deal for kids)? Are the words too easy (or hard) for your favorite little reader? Does it lend itself to repeated readings aloud (especially if the kid is three or so, a "favorite" book can get read TO DEATH, so make it fun for the parents, too). If you can't find the book at the library, make a list and spend an hour in a book store. DON'T just buy it online, sight unseen.
  
  
• Price shop. Amazon Marketplace sells brand-new books (they are required to list the condition) for absurd prices (and, given the rising price of kids' books, this is nothing to sneeze at). BookCloseouts.com has great prices (but not the newest stuff, so look for titles that are a year or two old; it's also got a decent catalog of the classics).

When it comes to buying books for the niebs, I like to think I have an edge, anyway. But sometimes I'm in a rush, or buying for someone else's kids, or I haven't been paying attention to the picture book market that year, or I flat-out have NO idea what children who like robots that turn into dinosaurs are reading this year.

That's when I crib. Let me share my helpful hints with you.

• Kirkus Reviews (which is THE reviewer for educational-yet-excellent kids' books) does an annual round-up of the best books of each year. Here are the 2008 picks. Note the long descriptions and the warnings about potential controversial subjects. Also note that there are a LOT of advertisements that are NOT reviews. Just pay attention.
  
  
• The New York Times does a fall review of all of the year's children's books (here's the 2008 edition). I tend to think their picture book selections are especially good every year. I also love that they are broken into interesting subject groups: Books about scary things (designed to help kids cope; this is a huge subset of the children's publishing industry), political biographies for children (especially good in presidential election years), alphabet books, etc. There's also a comprehensive list of previous years' top books.
  
  
• I love School Library Journal, but I am of the firm opinion that their reviews are not as well-organized and user friendly as more mainstream media. Still, they're worth a look if you like reading about books, or want a second opinion about a particular choice.
  
  
• Before the nieblings had a big library of their own, I relied heavily on the Caldecott (for best picture book) and Newbery (for best children's book) awards. It is very difficult to go wrong with either of these lists, because the quality of honor and award books is sterling.

A final tip: Don't overlook the power of a $10 or $15 book store gift card for a kid. I started this when Allen was six or seven, and I have rarely been as thrilled as I was that day. He got a book ... and to PICK A BOOK. His eyes lit up, he just ... he glowed with the power of having a choice, a whole book store to ransack. It was a fabulous moment in aunting.

It's Works for Me Wednesday over at Rocks in My Dryer (speaking of reading, that's well worth a peruse). For Monday Tip Jar, look for a list of my suggestions, broken down by age group and interest areas. But for now, what do YOU recommend?

The Mother Letter Project

This is the letter that I sent to every mother I could think of just now:

OK, so. As some of you know, I have a parenting blog (don't laugh) called Agony Aunt. And through my parenting blog, I have enountered other parenting bloggers (most of whom have actual children).

One of my favorites is Shannon, who writes Rocks in My Dryer, and today she posted about this very cool idea (letters of encouragement for moms). Maybe it's the season, maybe I'm getting sick, but my stony little journalist heart melted into a big, gooey, thumping lump in my chest when I read about it. I hope it gives you an equally melted heart (although I hope it reconstitutes quickly). Personally, I'm pretty excited about seeing what the collective wisdom and encouragement of mothers actually looks like.

And I hope you contribute!

Hope y'all are all well and having an excellent run-up to the holiday season. I am thinking fondly of each and every one of you, each and every day.

Now, off to write a letter. Because even non-mothers can be encouraging, I think.